Saying no isn't always easy
We already saw how to say no to your boss without saying no directly.
That was the most delicate part.
But there are still all the indirect requests:
- a coworker inviting you to a not-so-useful meeting
- a LinkedIn contact proposing lunch
- a friend-of-a-friend looking for an internship
- a request that feels harmless... but eats time
Saying no is often easier in those cases.
But it's still tricky, especially when you want to stay polite, elegant, and not offend anyone.
The real problem: mental energy
In theory, declining a meeting or a lunch is time saved.
Declining a one-hour meeting and a two-hour lunch can mean several hours recovered in a week.
The problem isn't the decline itself.
The problem is the mental effort it takes:
- finding the right words
- phrasing an elegant answer
- explaining without over-justifying
- adapting your tone to each situation
And since saying no isn't particularly pleasant, you tend to postpone it... or accept.
The key idea: let your past self do the work
The good news is that today, most requests arrive in writing: email, Slack, WhatsApp, LinkedIn, internal messaging.
And that's a huge advantage.
Because when a request arrives in writing, you can:
- reply later
- think calmly
- copy-paste
The idea is simple:
make a big writing effort once, so you never have to redo it.
Your past self invests energy.
Your future self collects the benefits.
Create ready-to-use replies
Next time you need to decline something, take the time to write the best reply possible:
- clear
- polite
- honest
- elegant
Then save it somewhere.
For example, a meeting decline could look like this:
Thanks for thinking of me.
Right now, I need to focus hard on my quarterly priorities and I'm not sure I can add much value in this meeting.
So I'd rather decline.If I can help on a specific point, send me your questions and I'll be happy to answer.
This message takes effort to write.
But once it's ready, it will save you time every time you use it.
Have multiple templates for different situations
Ideally, you'll have several pre-written replies, for example for:
- meeting invitations
- lunch requests
- unsolicited applications
- external outreach
Over time, you build a small library of elegant replies.
And saying no becomes much easier.
How to reuse them efficiently
There are several levels of sophistication.
Simple option
You store your replies in a note-taking tool
and you copy-paste the right template when needed.
Intermediate option
You use the built-in templates in your email client
(Gmail, Outlook, etc.).
Advanced option, and very powerful
Use a text expander.
The idea is simple:
you type a few characters, and a full text appears automatically.
For example:
:nopstage:noreu:nodej
And the full message generates instantly.
It's extremely effective, and almost fun.
Over time, you might even start enjoying saying no.
We'll talk more about these tools later in the work faster section.
Key takeaway
- Saying no costs mental energy
- That energy can be invested once
- Pre-written replies let you say no elegantly, without effort
- Your past self helps your future self
With this method, you recover time and energy...
and you keep control of your calendar.
And from time to time, remember to thank your past self :)
Go further
To go even further in protecting your time, the next step is learning how to
timebox your calendar
so these requests don't pile up.
One email a day.
Just enough to stay in control of your time.